The day illness caught up with us

Today has been a day that all mothers (and fathers) dread. Finley was poorly. We started to day off as all our Wednesdays do - breakfast, lunchboxes to fill, dressed and off to pre school we went at 8.20. Finley had had a full nights sleep (this is very rare) and was full of beans and was showing no signs of illness. So I dropped him off at 8.45, then off Noah and I went to a playgroup with a friend in a town about 20 minutes from where we live. I don't travel too far from pre school as I like to be close in case I need to get there - like today! And it was typical that it was a 10 minute walk to my car and a 20 minute drive away! I wouldn't have gone that far if I had thought he was ill. But he must have gone down hill really quickly.

My phone went at 10 as we had just got seated in the playgroup and it was the pre schools number. Well panic rushed through me even before I had answered the phone just from the number. I answered and they explained that Finley had been complaining he had been tired and was very lethargic. He had played for about 10 minutes and then taken himself off to the sofa for a lie down. This is not like Finley at all. And the fact it was onesie day and that he had been so excited about it this, was a sure sign something was not right. They said they had taken him temperature and it was on the high side. Before they had even suggested coming to pick him up I was gathering our stuff, and Noah, to go and get him. Poor Noah had an almighty strop as we had just got to the playgroup with all these toys and I was now taking him away. Don't blame him really.

I told them I was about 30 minutes away and they told me not to rush but I have never walked so fast up a hill to get to my car. I just needed to be with Finley, I knew there was nothing to panic about but as he was poorly I wanted to be the one to hug him and make him feel better.

I am sure the cars in front of me knew I needed to be somewhere and slowed right down. The journey took forever! But I finally got there to find Finley was fast asleep on the pre schools sofa. With all the other children playing around him and all the hustle and bustle of the pre school and he was flat out. The pre school teachers kindly helped me to the car as I had Noah as well as a sleeping Finley and his bags.

And as I got him in my arms I was relieved. We got home and he just wanted to lie on the sofa at home. I sat with him with his head on my lap and just stroked his hair. Even though he is poorly I cherish this close time with him. He went back off to sleep, while Noah was thrusting cars into his face but he felt so poorly he didn't care.

Its very hard having one child who is poorly but having a child who is poorly and a 19 month old who just wants your attention is even harder.

It got to lunchtime and Finley was awake so I thought we would try lunch. He didn't have the energy to move so I set him up a picnic in the living room. And the poor thing didn't even have the energy to sit so he led down eating his ham wrap. Then back to the sofa he went for a sleep. Finley doesn't sleep in the day so this is just not like him and I didn't like it.

I kept checking his temperature and he had had Calpol and Ibroprofen but his temperature was just not budging. He was very restless as we all are when we are ill and didn't know what to do with himself.

So I called the doctor.

I needed to for my piece of mind. A very lovely nurse answered, I told her what was wrong and she booked an appointment for 5 minute time. In the car we jumped and off to the doctors. We waited for about 20 minutes with Noah playing on the much loved beads but Finley just led on my lap.

We got called in and the doctor we saw was lovely. He was great with Finley, he listened to me and wasn't patronising. He checked him over and said one ear was a little red and his glands were up but he thinks it may be a virus and he wasn't to keen to give antibiotics just yet. But he said if at any time I was worried to just call 111 or if in the morning I wanted them to see him again to just call and they would book him in. He ended with telling me to not think I would be being a pain and if I was worried to just call. These are the doctors that put my faith back in doctors, that take the time to check everything knowing my sons are my world.

My mind was at ease and we set off home. But then on the way home he was sick everywhere in the car! Thank goodness we weren't far from home. After a call to my hubby and a quick drive home we were in home, cleaned up and Finley was feeling a little better. I think it was the high temperature that made me sick. 

He had a little bit of tea, and then took his place back on the sofa. After a nice bath and a story from daddy he is tucked up in bed with me hoping for a good night for us all.

I really do hate seeing him poorly and feel so helpless.

Wicked Wednesdays #10

My Ordinary Moment #8

We are so lucky that we live so close to an Arboretum. We didn't really appreciate it or go there before we had the boys, we only went there for a couple of concerts that they put on with bands that we knew of. But since having the boys I have friends with children that have a Westonbirt Aboretum annual pass and after I had been a few times and realised the price of an annual pass, the equivalent to 4 entries, I thought it was well worth investing in one. And I have used it so much since I bought it last June. And as the boys are getting older is it such a great place to go to let off some stream and just have a relaxing, as much as you can with 2 children in tow, walk.

I tend to go with my best friend, who also has a pass, and her little daughter who is the same age as Noah. And also my Sister in law, who has not long had our nephew, is starting to join us. Its great exercise and it is such a beautiful place with so many different walks you would find it hard to get bored going there.

We decided to go last Tuesday and we had picked a lovely day to go. The sun was shining, it was still cold, but was a gorgeous day. We all met at there and went on the non dog route as this way we don't have to worry about the kids running after the dogs as Finley and Eva love them!

It takes us forever to get onto the actual route as the kids need to climb the wall on the way to the walk and walk along it. Once through the trees they can just run. But rarely they run in the right direction. They tend to run the other way in which we are walking or get distracted by climbing trees or the little hideaways in the tree. And this week was no exception. I think it took us 20 minutes to get along what would normally take 2 minutes to walk! They also like to stop and pretend to read the signs, haha.

There is a tree not far from the entrance that Finley loves to climb. It has big branches that are all intertwined with each other and to be fair it is a great climbing tree for him as its not too tall. The 2 younger ones also like to try and join in with the climbing which is always fun to watch.

This is a photo from last summer but you can see why this tree is a favourite!

Once we had managed to get them away from the tree I got 'I'm hungry mummy!', so out came the snacks. They are very good and do walk along eating them and this was the one part of the walk that we don't have to chivvy them along lol.

Within the trail is a big carved Gruffalo which is surrounded by stepping stones. This is a great target as we keep telling the kids ' the Gruffalo is going to go to sleep of we don't hurry up' naughty mummy I know!

Noah and Eva, my friends little girl, are 8 days apart and they have grow up together so they have such a great relationship, even if sometimes Noah can be a little rough. But she just takes it and gets on with it, bless her! They walk along holding hand, they copy anything either of them does and if one goes in the wrong direction so will the other!

Finley is in his element here. He is free and he can run and there isn't much he can do that means I need to tell him off. So it is lovely for me too as I get a little break from being mean mummy.

We do have a few bumps along the way too. But as they are usual padded up in their snow suits the damage is mostly minimal.

There isn't 2 better people that I would like to go here with than Sam and my Sister in law. They really are such amazing friends and we spent the whole walk chatting and just generally gossiping which is something we do best.

As we turned the corner there was the Gruffalo. Finley got so excited, followed by Noah and Eva running over to it. But I think Finley was more excited about the stepping stones that surround the Gruffalo. We stopped and out came my selfie stick!

The arboretum is beautiful all year around but all the flowers are just starting to come out on the trees and it is just gorgeous.

After the Gruffalo we found our way back to the car. I say found as we didn't have a map and there are so many routes, we just have to find our way out of the trees! The kids were starting to get tired and hungry and after a 2 hour walk I'm not surprised as they had done so well. The walk ended with my baby nephew being carried, Noah in Eva's pushchair, Eva is Odin's pushchair and Finley hanging off my arm as he was tired!

After this we went back to Sam's house for a yummy lunch. And when I say yummy I mean it as she seriously does the best lunch!

This really was a perfect day with the boys and some incredible friends.

My Sunday Photo 22/03/2015

When do we give up?

I have thought long and hard about writing this post. I have gone to write it a few times but then have backed out. But now feel I have to, for me, to get it off my chest.

When do we give up? When do we let that friendship that once meant so much to us go? The one that you have been holding onto, one sided, with the other end of the friendship rope hanging because they let go a long time ago.

Writing this fills me with emotion. There is a lump in my throat as I just want to cry. Thinking of all the times we laughed until we cried but also the times that I have felt so let down. It hurts but it have finally come to the conclusion that so many people have been telling me for a while now. The friendship is lost. And I don't know how to get it back.

I have grabbed at it so many times to try and revive it. When we used to get together it used to be easy. No fight for conversation. No awkward silences. But now there is. And I really don't know why and I don't know what has happened for it to get to this.

There are many types of friendships. Ones that you have had since school, that you do not talk to that often but when you do, you pick up from where you left off. Ones we have made along the way, that we will meet for coffee once in a while to catch up and ones that really mean something, that we really care about. These friendships can be years old or they can be recently found friendships.

I put a lot of effort into friendships. And I worry a lot. I feel once you put that friends label on it you make the effort. One friendship was formed a few years ago and has really meant so much to me. I wont go into detail but we did so much together and she meant, still does and always will do, so much to me.

But something changed. I'm not sure what but it did. And life seemed to get in the way. And it was always me making the effort to meet, me texting her, me setting up coffee dates to just be cancelled on the day before because of something that I knew was an excuse. And the last few days I have really been thinking of this friendship and it breaks my heart but I think we are at the end. I will always be there and when she wants to pick up the phone to me I will be there within a shot as I will never give up on something that meant so much to me. But I just cant do it anymore. I cant fight for something when the other person doesn't want to fight for it. I cant be let down. Be cancelled on. Not be bothered with.

We need more than just contact at Birthdays and Christmas.

I know once we have a family that our priorities change and that our time for others outside of our little family unit is limited. And I don't expect to be a huge part of their lives as time with our family is precious but we all need friends as well.

So I am going to take a step back and see what happens. See if I mean as much to her as she means to me.

I am now thinking do I post this. What if she reads it. But I know she wont as she doesn't know me anymore, as she doesn't seem to want to. I'm not part of her life anymore. As much as I try to be. 

Since becoming a mum I have realised what is really precious in life. I don't have the time I used to, to maintain friendships, so we do find our true friends after having children as I believe the ones that are true to us stay with us and will help maintain the friendship we have. Through thick and thin, in both lives - mine and theirs.

I hope I am wrong and I hope I get a call in a few days that will make me realise I was just being silly. But I don't think I will. There is always wishful thinking though.

Sometimes you have to let go to know that its real.

My Captured Moment #10

My Captured Moment this week is from autumn last year. We tried to hold onto summer for as long as we could by still going out as much as we could and having as many park visits as possible. Knowing that soon we would be in winter mode and not want to get out of our pj's to leave the house.

Finley is so much fun and is always wanting selfies. Definitely his mothers son! So when he asked for a selfie while we were on the big circle string swing I couldn't say no.

And I adore this picture. His cheekiness just shines through and his happiness of being outside can't be hidden. I love this little dude so much - he makes everyday that little tougher but also fills everyday with so much love! 

Recipe - Chocolate Mini Egg Cupcakes

Me and a friend were talking about baking yesterday and I was telling her how my husband had requested chocolate cornflake nests with mini eggs in. I had said that this was one of the easiest things to make and she said how about adding in cake and buttercream. These sounded amazing. So this recipe inspiration has to go to her, the gorgeous Sam.

While Finley, my eldest, was at pre school today I decided to make them. I didn't follow a recipe, I did what I normally do and just made it up as I go along. I followed my Nan's recipe of chocolate sponge and added a buttercream centre with chocolate coated cornflakes and mini eggs on the top.

So here is my recipe and how I did it.

What you will need

Approximately 18 cupcake cases

Something to pipe the butter cream into the cupcakes. I used disposable piping bags with a metal nozzle I got from the poundshop

2 cupcake baking trays

Sponge ingredients

6oz margarine (I used Stork)

6oz caster sugar

5oz plain flour

1oz Cadburys drinking chocolate powder

3 eggs

Buttercream ingredients

4oz butter

Enough icing sugar that you don't taste the butter and so its the consistency of butter cream

(sorry as I said I just made it up and didn't weigh the icing)

1tbsp vanilla essence

Topping ingredients

Cornflakes (I used Sainsbury's basic cornflakes, 25p for a 500g bag, I didn't use the whole bag)

Milk chocolate, I used a 400g bar (you could use dark or white chocolate if you like)

2 bags of mini eggs

Method

I pre heated the oven to 180oc. I have a fan oven so you may need to google the temperature for your oven (as you can tell I don't write cook books, haha)

Place your cake cases into the cake baking tray.

Mix the margarine and caster sugar until it is light and fluffy (this is what cook books always say, lol) and then sieve a 3rd of the flour into the marg/caster sugar mixture, add an egg and mix. Do this 3 times until all the flour and eggs are in the mixture. Add the chocolate powder to this mix.

Now fill your cake cases with about a tablespoon full of mixture per case. If you have a little left over at the end either make a few more cakes or divide the mixture between the cakes you have.

Now into the oven for about 20 minutes. Check after 15 as they do seem the bake quickly. Prick them to check it is cooked through. Once baked, remove from the oven and cool completely.

Once they have cooled you can make the buttercream. I always put the butter in a glass bowl and warm it in the microwave for about 10 seconds (20 if its straight from the fridge). But do keep checking it as you don't want it to melt. Once soft, sieve in the icing sugar. Start with a little to make it the consistency of buttercream and then keep adding in icing sugar along with the vanilla essence until it tastes nice.

Then with a sharp knife cut out a crater (best way to describe it) in the centre of each cake. Not all the way to the bottom of the cake , just to about half way down the cake, like you would with fairy cakes. Fill your piping bag with the buttercream, nozzle at the bottom and pipe some buttercream into each of the cakes. I was a little reserved to begin with but then found I had lots left so went back around to all of the cakes.

In a glass bowl break up all of the chocolate and place it over a pan of water on the hob. As the water begins to boil the chocolate will melt but make sure you keep stirring the chocolate. Once it is all melted mix in the corn flakes. Not too many as you want them to be coated well but also enough that they soak up the chocolate so its not to slippery. Leave the chocolate and cornflakes to cool completely as you don't want it to melt the buttercream.

Get your mini eggs at the ready. Once the chocolate/cornflake mixture is cool make a nest on the top of each cake. This is quite messy and you have to compact the cornflakes so that they stay on top and stay together. I then placed them straight into my cake tin and topped them with the mini eggs. I started with 2 on each cake, ate a few myself and then added the last few so a couple of cakes have 3 eggs on.

Leave them until all of the chocolate has set, otherwise if you move them the cornflakes and mini eggs will just fall off the cakes. Once set its time to eat!

If you decide to make these I would love to see some pictures and know how you got on. This is my first recipe post so please be kind :-)

Happy Easter!

Wicked Wednesdays #9