I am suffering from a major bout of Mummy guilt at the moment and I have to say it's a pretty horrible feeling. It is horrible because the things that are making me have these feelings are also things that have made me happy. Over the past few weeks we have been busy with having plans most weekends and our weeks being filled with play dates and days out, but these have all involved the boys. But it is the plans of the past few days and the coming days that have made my Mummy guilt creep up and have made me feel crappy when thinking about it. And I have even lost sleep over it.
On Tuesday I went to a friends house to celebrate her and her sisters birthday where we had dinner and drank pina coladas in her hot tub. This was brilliant until I got home and got into bed and started over thinking. All of a sudden I realised that I wouldn't be bathing and putting the boys to bed now until Sunday night. I had running club yesterday evening, CrossFit this evening and both of these run 7-8 which means I miss bath time. This is usual in the week when Mr C gets to have some quality time with the boys but this week is different as on Friday I am off to BritMums! I am lucky enough to be staying two nights and coming home lunchtime on Sunday.
I love the plans I have but just in the back of my mind I am feeling like a terrible mummy for missing bed time and having a few days away.
So last night I bathed the boys at 6pm before Mr C got home to take a little bit of pressure off of him so all he had to do was put the munchkins to bed, and also so the last bath time I did wasn't Monday evening. I may also do the same this evening before I go to CrossFit just so that I feel I am doing something. Which is pretty stupid seeing it written down as I am with them all day, everyday - apart from when they are at preschool. I normally do bath time along with Mr C and I will read their book to them every night when I am home, so it's not like I don't do any of this. But I think because I normally do it I think I am letting them down and also as I have a weekend away I feel like I should give them all my time before I go!
This is the worst that the Mummy guilt has been, as I have had bouts of it previously but not at this extent. I do have it on a daily basis for just silly little things but I think we all do. I am finding myself trying to make up for my weekend away and just generally feeling guilty about leaving them.
But thinking about it I don't think there is anything I, or any other parent for that matter, can do about this guilt. I think it just comes with the territory as we love them so much and we don't want to feel like we are letting them down!
Bloody mummy guilt! I too have been 'running with myself' as my father used to call it, and finally enjoying rejoining the adult world and even going out 'after dark'. However, my heart did crack a little when my son asked me today when 'Daddy Day' is; my w'ends have been so busy of late, that the husband has taken on a lot of solo outings. Apparently he is waaaayyyy more fun. :(
ReplyDeleteI think we all suffer from mummy guilt but we have to remember that taking time out to do things for ourselves ultimately helps us be a better parent hon. I had a Women's Empowerment coach talking about this recently on the blog if you fancy having a squiz to make you feel better! http://motherhoodtherealdeal.com/parenthood/expert-editions-vol-12-how-to-stop-feeling-guilty-as-a-mum/ thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely and fret not xxx
ReplyDeleteThere's always guilt over something, it means you care 😉 It is hard to get a constant balance but not every week will be the same as the next so just enjoy it while it lasts xx Have a fab time at BML16! #picknmix
ReplyDeleteI have the same problem. I work mainly in the evening so I'm really only around at the end of the day a few nights a week. It makes finding any time to do anything for myself at night a constant guilt trip #binkylinky
ReplyDeleteAww I'm sorry you feel like this..Mummy guilt sucks!taking time to do the things you enjoy is really important, it makes you happier and more relaxed, making you a happy mummy for the kids. Enjoy BML and I hope you don't let the Mummy guilt get to you too much xx #picknmix
ReplyDeleteHi Kirsty, just think that maybe you wouldn't be such a good Mum if you didn't have a little 'time out'to recharge your batteries. Parenting shouldn't be all about what our children want and need, parents have needs too. However knowing that doesn't make it easier, until your children are old enough for you to be able to look back and know you gave them your all.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great time at Brit Mums.
xx
Oh the dreaded 'mummy guilt' it happens to the best of us lovely!! But you are doing a wonderful job otherwise you wouldn't feel the guilt. We are all in this together xx #bloggerclubuk
ReplyDeleteI"ve had many an occasion, many, many, many! Ii think every mum, and dad, feels guilty at times for various things. Whether it's missing bedtime, not being in the mood to read a bedtime story, not playing with their child enough etc. I think it's important to remember the positive moments and the good memories, than let the times where we feel guilty take over. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky Sorry the comment is late - we've just returned from holiday!
ReplyDeleteI think we all get this and we all beat ourselves up way too much for sometimes wanting a bit of space or even just something for ourselves. It is obvious you are a fantastic Mum lovely. By the way loved meeting you at last at Britmums ;)
ReplyDeleteStevie xx #PicknMix
I hear ya on the mommy guilt, I get it all of the time but at the same time, mommy needs a break to be a better mommy. Otherwise there is the possibility of mommy burn out which is not good. Pina coladas in the hot tub sounds like heaven! Thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK & it was lovely to meet you at BML x
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