Tuesday 22 September 2015

Am I A Bad Mum?

I question a lot of things that I do as a mother as I want to do things right for our boys. But one of the main things I do question is the food that they eat.

From the weaning stage I wanted to prepare their food myself. Not sure why as I don't think the pre made food is bad for them, I just wanted to. I think I needed to feel like I had a purpose, as silly as that may sound. They did have jars, they didn't eat EVERYTHING homemade as that would have been near impossible but I did my best. Sweet potato, broccoli, Parsnip - the list goes on.

I fed them everything and I let them try everything but this has still made them rather fussy eaters!

They eat a lot of fish fingers, turkey bites, potato waffles and spaghetti. Why? Because they actually eat it. But I ask myself, Does this make me a bad Mum?

The reason that they have this for their tea most days is because if I am totally honest, I am fed up of making them food that they don't eat. Which means they hardly eat any tea. And really eating fish fingers for tea is better than eating nothing!

I will freshly prepare a roast or a pasta dish or maybe some lovely looking dish from one of my cook books. Sometimes it takes a good while to make it and I will be so proud of it, to then put it in front of them and they turn their noses up at it. They won't even try it and tell me that they don't like it. So all that effort had gone to waste and it ends up being thrown in the bin as it is so mushed up from the many attempts at them trying to eat it.

But when I place fish fingers and waffles with tomato ketchup in front of them they will polish the whole plate off.

I make sure they eat fruit and veg, they will eat sweetcorn (one by one) and they will happily eat a punnet of blueberries in one sitting. So they get their 5 a day but they just don't have 5 star, restaurant style meals because they just don't eat them.

Am I going for the easy life and should I be persevering with 'normal' meals like lamb meatball pasta or fish pie? Does it make me a bad mum for letting them eat turkey dinosaurs 4 days a week?

I just want my children to eat and if they are happy eating the food they are then I am a happy mummy to see them eating. I am hoping one day they will start to eat 'normal' meals but until then I want a fight and stress free mealtime so this is how its going to be until otherwise.

The Twinkle Diaries
And then the fun began...

Best of Worst


  1. I have two boys three and five both the same weaned on everything loved it then along came fussy eating. I have been in tears many a time when a loving plate of food is described as yuck. The five year old is much better now but we have just taken it slowly and trust me he us not great. They eat raw veggies such a carrots, baby plumb toms, cucumber and peppers during the day happily. Sorry no magic answer but wanted to let you know your not alone in how you feel xxx

  2. No you're not a bad mum. I have the exact same thing with Piglet and, like your children, he will happily finish an entire punnet of blueberries so I figure that he is getting what he needs.

  3. Of course it doesn't make you a bad mum. You wouldn't be worrying about it so much if you were, and boy do I know that worry. If you makes you feel any better Wee Girl doesn't eat any vegetables at all. Well, she eats beetroot -- HOORAY! As long as it's been put in a chocolate cake -- BOO! And it results in explosive bright red poo -- UMMM! But sweetcorn? Ahahahha, no. Maybe if I put it in a cake?

    I think there's a lot of sneery snobbiness about jarred and sachets of food, and it makes me roll my eyes so hard. Wee Girl would never have eaten as much as she did if it hadn't been for Ella's Kitchen.

    Crucially, she's getting better. I try to feed them at the same time as us, and give them the same things as much as possible. It isn't always; spice is always a problem with Little Man, who starts whinging at even the tiniest speck of cumin. I think the trick is to mix 'normal' food in with their usual food, so one day they eat their usual food and the next they eat the same as you. It means you're not constantly stressing about them starving, it reduces the stress of having to cook extra meals AND the stress of having to make your meals kid-friendly all the time, and it introduces them gradually to more adult meals.

    Lunchtimes are the big focus of guilt for me. I hate having to cook an extra meal during the day, so it's usually something quick and simple like beans on toast, or a ham sandwich or scrambled eggs.

  4. There is more to life than cooking meals, healthy kids also have time with you, play outdoors etc etc, do what works best for you so long as they get a good balance of ingredients all is fine. Popping by this morning from Twinkly Tuesday

  5. Not at all! Better that they are happy & healthy. My Mum reminds me that "there aren't many adults...(insert current problem e.g. Just eating fish fingers) and that helps me sometimes! Sounds like you are doing a grand job x

  6. I had the exact same thoughts as I just cooked my 3 yr old fish fingers for lunch. He had them with red, yellow and green peppers so had the veg. But still had fish fingers only a couple of days ago. He loves spaghetti bolognese and a roast but for the most part he is like yours - he loves the processed crap! And I'm a bit like you - I'd rather see him eat, as long as it's balanced with fruit and veg, I think we're doing just fine mama! Xx

  7. Some of my fondest childhood food memories involve fish fingers!
    Nope, I don't think you're a bad mum.
    The Crazy Stork Lady | www.breakingupwithcontraception.com

  8. Oh bless you! It does not make you a bad mum at all. I have fussy eaters and they eat a lot of pasta, chicken nuggets etc! Luckily they love a sunday roast. But not all veg and fruit.

  9. My two eat a load of crap as well Kirsty. I sometimes worry that they'll get scurvy and that's the day I run out and buy a job lot of Innocent smoothies (one of their five a day!!). They will eat sweetcorn. Actually youngest is not too bad and will eat occasional broccoli. Neither of them will touch any kind of salad. I do hidden veg bolognese which goes down well and the occasional apple or banana goes in. I think they eat more variety and healthier when they're at school/pre-school/childminders because they are stuck with what they're given and there's also peer pressure. I think my (now 15 & 16 year old) nieces were fussy at this age too and now they have a pretty good palate on them. So that's something... Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout hon Xx

  10. You sound just like us, I did everything I could to raise my son as a foodie. His dad is a chef so we had his skills on our side, but 5 years on he still only reliably eat about 5 meals - most of them fish finger based. Oh well. Someone told me once 'you're responsible for providing food, you're not responsible for making them eat it.' You can't force them can you? Great post. #thetruthabout

  11. Of course you aren't a bad mum. If you are then I certainly am too. My daughter just loves pasta. She'd eat three meals of it a day if she could. Although yesterday she wolfed down sausages and peas. I have had a lot of 'don't like that' - drives me crazy. I think introducing new foods gradually works and making it 'fun' dipping things always works and eating together does too - although we only do this a couple of times a week. They will get better!! Don't worry. Xx #bestandworst

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  13. I hear ya! I would do the same except my son doesn't eat anything! Well he eats pasta, sausages and Yorkshire puddings but that's it. He diesnt even eat chips. If he ate waffles, fish fingers and Turkey bites etc you can be damn sure I'd offer them. My daughter eats anything however so in my circumstances I'm better off going for the healthier options but you're not a bad mum. Eating something is better than nothing In my opinion.

    Visiting from bestandworst linky

  14. I'd say that makes you a normal mum :-). I read an interesting article that suggesting offering a few things, some of which you know they'll eat alongside something new (eg. Garlic bread and carrots that they like alongside meatballs which are new). They suggested that you present it, tell them they don't have to eat it and leave them to it. If they try some great, if not whatever. Less stress for everyone. Saying that I don't think a few nights of fish fingers is going to do anyone any harm. My little brother lived off peanut butter sandwiches, tinned hot dogs and spaghetti hoops for his first ten years and he survived.
    Thanks for linking up with #bestandworst.

  15. Definitely doesn't make you a bad mum. I think we've all been here. My boys both love their food. But they also went through this stage. At around 3 was when I introduced William in helping cooking. Even if it was having a child peeler and gave him a carrot. It seemed to work, the fact he "made it" suddenly made him enjoy it. Importantly they sound like they get a balanced diet with their 5 a day so it's ultimately good. #bestandworst

  16. Definitely not the girls go though stages of only wanting the same thing and I don't think that makes me a bad parent :)X

  17. Definitely not! My sister was an incredibly fussy eater, but now she eats everything. I'm shocked every time it see her and she's 28! I think they're like us, they go through phases of wanting a particular food and it sounds like they're actually having a varied diet with all the fruit and veg they need, and not only that they are loving them. I say all this, wait a few months and I'm sure I'll be writing similar! :-)

  18. I'm TOTALLY with you here. I definitely quantify my success as a mother by how well I feed my babies. Some times I really struggle with the fact that the boys haven't had a balanced diet that day — but then *most* days they do. And I guess, if you take what they've eaten over a whole week — and there's lots of cheese and fruit and veg — then the odd day or two of eating just carbs is no bad thing. Thanks for linking up to #TwinklyTuesday — much appreciated x

  19. I have the same problem with Tin Box Tot. Frustratingly nursery always tell me what a good eater she is and everything they give her is beautifully homemade. I get some comfort from the fact that she is eating well a few days of the week and whatever good stuff I can get in her on the days she's home is a bonus. It really can depend on her mood but that's no consolation when you've been slaving over the stove! X

  20. Mine are older than yours but I think we went through this phase too. And now they happily eat quinoa, broccoli, brown rice etc (which some would say means I've messed them up for life too ha ha. I really wouldn't worry. #TheTruthAbout



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