I have always been sensitive in all aspects of life. I've got a lot better since having the boys but I still let certain things get to me. Before I had the boys I would cry at the drop of a hat. Looking back now it seems stupid to have cried over something so silly, but at the time it had affected me in some way and more often than not it was because of what someone had said or what someone had done/didn't do.
Certain things people say make me question my parenting ability and make me question if I doing this right. But last night I read something that really annoyed me and it made me think. I'm not going to say what it was that I read but it was an article that I think if most parents read it would make them feel like they aren't doing the best job they could. And to me this is judging people by not even knowing that person at all. Their name, their face or their life. Because of something they have said or something they believe, they are making others feel inadequate as parents. I am all for freedom of speech but when its a speech that will in turn hurt someone or make someone feel a lesser parent/person than they are I don't like it.
Everyone is different and everyone parents their children differently. And that is their right. We have no right to tell someone how to bring up their children and we have no right to judge them on the parent that they are.
There have been a lot of things recently that I have seen that have made me question myself and now thinking about it, it makes me angry. These things haven't been put out there to directly make people question themselves but they are out there under the knowledge that it will make people think. I may be being over sensitive but we all have that voice in our head that makes us stop and think, and question what and how we are doing things.
These can either be in the form of an article or just a simple photo. Now I post a lot of photos and I hope that I have never upset someone or made them question anything in their life from one of my photos. But some people post bragging photos and bragging statuses. And this really annoys me. There is no need. There's no need to brag because someone reading that update or seeing that photo may then feel inadequate and feel like they are not doing the best for their children.
I just think people should think because they speak with certain things because people, like me, worry about every aspect of their life and people, like me, will be sat there looking at whatever it is that has been posted and will think they are doing a lesser job than they are. When they are not.
We are all the best parents to our children and never let anyone make you think otherwise. And never let anyone question the person that you are.
When people judge the decisions of other parents, I find that they are usually speaking from a place of insecurity themselves. We all need to be kinder to one another! #mgReplyDelete
Fantastic post :) I'm a sensitive over thinker so I totally get where you are coming from!ReplyDelete
Some people do spend a lot of time bragging about their kids (and life in general) on social media. Even if what they say is accurate, you're right, people should think a bit more about whether they really need to say it. If your kid's doing really well or you did something great with them, it should really be enough that you & family know it - everyone doesn't have to, and encouraging competitiveness about kids' abilities, etc is not good for anyone's children, including their own. But actually, a lot of the time, I don't think these posts even are accurate. Or they are a very selective snapshot of just the positive aspects. Sometimes I find you'll see it from people where you KNOW that the account being given is not a full or accurate account of their lives, and that makes you wonder how many other people are doing the same. That is just insecurity though - they are trying to convince themselves by getting validation from others. So I think the best thing to do is ignore it & take it with a pinch of salt, but also remember that those people are often feeling as insecure as you do - they are just showing it another way. #mgReplyDelete
Very well put and I totally agree with you. I can spend hours worrying myself silly and questioning what I do as a parent, but I think in reality we are all just doing the best we can and what works for us. There are some lovely supportive people out there though *I'm blog land especially!* and that makes me happy xx #mgReplyDelete
I am a silent worrier! Everyone thinks I'm totally chilled out, I am very good at hiding my feelings. I constantly worry about things and have started to increasingly become anxious about little things. I think I'm doing a good job and I guess that is all that matters. Sarah #mgReplyDelete
As a single mom, your words here brought me close to tears. I have a lot of insecurities too especially living in a country that sees single moms as something bad. I love your words. Thank you!ReplyDelete
I agree - some people have no filter #twinklytuesday xxxx (@MummyFever)ReplyDelete
Oh honey I am so sensitive it really is sometimes a problem, the hardest time for me was with Aspen when she was a newborn, no actually for her first 3 years. Then I had April and toughened up a bit, but I say a bit, not a lot. I actually am starting to embrace my sensitive side though (but will always hate it to some degree too, especially as I am the worlds ugliest cryer) but I realise it is what makes me a good writer, and a good human being and hopefully a great mum. Don't question yourself. Embrace who you are and all your awesomeness that we all see! Thanks for linking up too, and for being so honest! #mgReplyDelete
Its so hard isn't it. I am easy wobbled by things that I read that make me feel like I am doing everything wrong. On my blog I write about loads of things and how I have done it but I always worry that it might upset someone. Realistically I am just writing it to give other mums ideas of how you can choose to do things and what has worked for us but I would hate to think anyone has ever read what I have written and felt sad. It's easy to say but try not question yourself too much - the very fact you are worrying makes it clear that you are doing the very best job :) #sharewithmeReplyDelete
Well said!! Isn't it awful when you feel you are questioning things because of something you have read or seen, I say just go with your gut and sod everyone else" Thanks for stopping by and linking up to the #bestandworst xReplyDelete
If we were all a little kinder, the world would be a better place. I agree, some people need to keep their thoughts to themselves!ReplyDelete
I hate that sinking feeling when you read/see something and think "I'm a bad parent" and truth is you're not! I echo what others have said - I think the ranty posts or bragging pictures often stem from a very insecure person. You are not alone lovely and you do a fab job with the boys - they always look so happy xx #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I'm very similar to you by the sounds of it!Everyone's different and it's a shame people don't just let others get on with it x #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
It's hard when we're more exposed to other people's opinions and lives (as least the parts they choose to show us) than ever before with the internet. I have always been quite sensitive to other people's opinions and actions but I once read a book which really helped. If you're interested it's called 'The Four Agreements' - one of them is 'don't take anything personally'. Even the most blatant and intentional attack on us or our values says more about the person behind it than it does about us. Keep doing what works for you :)ReplyDelete
Just popping by for a second read through #justanotherlinky Thank you for hosting lovely. Happy 30th ( week ) birthday xxReplyDelete
What a well written post! You have captured the essence of parenthood completely in your post and especially your last line. #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I agree! Everyone is different. My mummy used to feel inadequate all the time and now she doesn't care what other people think when it comes to her parenting skills- because everyone is different! x #JustanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I'm intrigued as to what you saw! But the thing is we're all the perfect parents to our children and the best they could possible have because we're their mum, and no-one else is or can be. Hope that makes sense! #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I have read that the more we scroll our FB feeds full of these "bragging" photos and statuses the less happy we feel about our lives. And that usually those bragging photos are put up because the person that did so feels inadequate about something and by posting that photo they feel powerful over at least one thing.ReplyDelete
So with you on this - we just need to remember that happiness comes from us not comparing ourselves with others, which is often what these statuses are trying to do. x #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I am epic at worrying, it's terrible isn't it? I'm constantly thinking about the fact I should be enjoying life before it flies by but can't help worrying about silly things. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays! Would love to see you again next week. Kaye xoReplyDelete
Absolutely! We are all unique & will parent in different ways. I think mom guilt & self doubt comes with being a mom & it's hard not to feel that way. It's important not to take these perfect articles & photos on board because they aren't reality. Thanks so much for hosting #justanotherlinky xReplyDelete
Yep, sensitive person over here too. Big hugs, it's tough sometimes. You're a wonderful mummy though, that's plain to see! #justanotherlinky xxReplyDelete
As a new, stay at home, mum I constantly over think if I am doing something the right way. This post was beautiful. It hit every nail on the head. It's so lovely to see that I am not the only person who takes everything to heart, and it's also lovely to see that now you can look back and see how insignificant those worries were. #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
I completely agree. I think, when it comes to parenting, it is so subjective that all anyone can really do is say "this is what I do." They have no place to say "this is right" or "this is wrong" because, under another set of circumstances, it may not be. Keep on keeping on! I'm very sensitive too but we have to take pride in the fact that, as you say, we are the best parents we can be for our own children. Thanks for hosting #justanotherlinkyReplyDelete
Great post hunny and so honest. I feel the very same way. So many are quick to judge and say things they shouldn't to anyone they don't know. You have given great advice and we are all trying to do our very best the way we know how. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithmeReplyDelete