Monday, 19 October 2015

Right Back To Square One - Dreading My Bedtime

I remember the early days of having a new born and well into the first few months when I dreaded bedtime, because bedtime wasn't a good 8 hours sleep, it consisted of being woken every 2 hours or less by a hungry, cranky baby that didn't like to sleep. I led in bed at 9pm trying to go to sleep, as I was so tired but knowing that I would be woken soon.

This carried on well into Finley's first year as he never did sleep well but when he was nearly 2 we seemed to crack it, and thankfully Noah as a newborn was a good sleeper, for a baby. Nights got better and Finley would only wake once a night until we reached the nights which they both would sleep through until 6am. I am sure I was a lot more tired thank before from the extra sleep.

But just recently this whole sleeping malarkey has been a nightmare again. We have good nights and then we have bad nights, and when this happens it makes the bad nights that bit worse as we are so used to sleeping.

I am hoping it is just a 'phase'. Finley is waking up crying wanting a cuddle, a drink, tucking in or a wee. The list goes on. We get up and hug him, pass him his drink (which we always place on the chair next to his bed), tuck his duvet back into the bottom of his bed or take him to the toilet, and do this all without much fuss. As we know that shouting and getting angry won't help anyone at 2am in the morning. But why is this happening? And how do we stop it?

We have tried explaining where his drink is or telling him the night light means he can see when going to the toilet. We have a sticker chart with the promise of a sticker and chocolate if he stays in bed all night. We try to ignore him (I know naughty mummy and daddy) but nothing seems to work on those nights that he gets up.

And the nights he gets up, he is up 3/4 times a night. And then the next night he sleeps through.

So I am right back to dreading going to bed. Of getting into our nice warm bed that used to be my heaven before children. Dreading what the night may bring. But the nights he sleeps through it is lovely to wake up in the morning with a beaming Finley next to the bed knowing he has stayed in bed all night.

All advice welcome. Please tell me it's a 'phase' and we will soon be back to our 7/8 hours of unbroken sleep.

How we used to get some sleep
The Twinkle Diaries
MaternityMondays
And then the fun began...
Best of Worst

16 comments:

  1. It's so hard isn't it. The only thing I would suggest is saying no to his demands. Go in so he can see you. a quick cuddle for reassurance and say "time for sleep". Maybe he will learn that he doesn't get anything in the middle of the night?

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  2. Doesn't sound like you're having much fun at the moment. I've found with my boys that they do go through phases when it comes to sleeping. I try to have quiet time and a story before bedtime to relax them and keep it at the same time everyday. When we had to get up with them when they were younger we tried to be aa bit distant with them so we weren't making a fuss of them. This worked as they soon got tired that mummy and daddy weren't interested in cuddling them back to sleep. Sticker and reward charts are really good reinforcement. #maternitymondays

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  3. I have no advice but you are not alone. For the last 3 weeks, G has been up at least once a night-sometimes twice. Boo too has been wandering in when I've been feeding him. I thonk G was cold so we are back on the winter sleeping bag and it worked FOR TWO NIGHTS!!! last night I was in the 3am club again. Feel free to tweet me for moral support ;) #MaternityMondays

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  4. I wish I had some advice, but my daughter has never been a good sleeper. Just as I dared to think we'd cracked it, she got a bad cold, couldn't breath through her nose and would constantly wake and hasn't slept properly since - and that was about 2 months ago! I hope it gets better for you soon, I know how awful it can be (and if you find a miraclulous sleep secret, please let me know!) xx

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  5. Hoping that it is just a phase that passes soon. It's so hard going back to broken nights again when you start getting used to getting a reasonable amount of sleep. Hope Finley starts to sleep through again soon and that you get your good nights back.

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  6. I feel for you. I am not good on little sleep and we are coming up to the age where little man will be a bed rather than a cot, and potty training, so am unsure on how it is going to go. I am fully prepared for it to go back to the newborn stage for a while. I was always quite strict with little man and he slept through from 3 months old so I was lucky to an extent but we worked hard for that to happen and it wasn't easy. I will be following the same guidelines with not giving in just because it is the middle of the night and staying strong while he is crying or fussing (for no reason). Those few days of pain (from our guilt) and noise (from our little ones) will be worth it when he knows he cannot get away with getting up and making demands in the middle of the night all the time. Hope that helps :-) xx

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  7. I appreciate reading this from you, and comments from other mums in the same boat. I've been feeling frustrated by an 11-month baby who's never slept through the night, thinking I was doing something wrong. But looking at the bigger picture and seeing that actually there's no magic formula and it's not a matter of achieving the sleep-through and then never worrying about it again puts me in the frame of mind to approach it as a longer-haul! Thanks, Robyn (yearsareshort) :) #TwinklyTuesday

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  8. You are describing me and my son when he was around 2/3 years old! It is the worst thing to get used to sleeping at night again and then bam it is ruined because your child starts to wake up during the night like a newborn! I used to get into bed and sleep next to my son when he woke up to save my legs constantly getting up and down when he continued to wake. So most nights I'd end up in his bed. It was silly and then I reached a point where I stopped, ignored him etc and he started sleeping through again. So I would be harsh, ignore him. It is just a phrase and if you start to stand your ground then it will pass quicker. Good luck lovely.

    #twinklytuesday

    Gemma xx

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  9. It's just a phase, this too shall pass and so on... My youngest was the worst sleeper for years, and I don't want to jinx it but she has improved dramatically over the last year or so. She will have the odd bad night but now it's rare and I we are all just about getting enough rest. Really hope it passes for you soon!

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  10. I'm afraid I have no tips. Ours were bad sleepers till they were two and then it just seemed to click with them. When the eldest started school he went througha phase of waking in the night but that passed again after a few weeks. Fingers crossed Finley will get back into a good routine again soon. #thetruthabout

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  11. We are the same lovely at the moment. It's a killer. No clue why. The gremlin is waking crying, coming into our room and just wanting to be put back or sleep with us. Broken sleep is awful. This just has to be a phase. That is what I am telling myself and it will get better xxx #thetruthabout#twinklytuesday

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  12. Oh no! I really feel for you - I panicked when my five month old wasn't starting to sleep through the night quickly enough and bought a book on the subject but then he settled down after that and now - touch wood - both of them generally sleep through OK (my eldest did used to wake up crying for his dummy a couple of years ago but his little brother generally doesn't do that). You're right though, when you get used to sleeping through any disruptions seem even more testing so I wish you the best that this is just a phase (as my experience shows that there is such a thing as 'just a phase' although it feels devastating at the time). Thanks for linking up X #thetruthabout

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  13. Hmm I'm not sure I can offer much advice, Alfie has always been a pretty good sleeper, I mean don't get me wrong we have had our fair share of interrupted sleep but it's never been that consistent to be getting unbearable. Elarna is waking once a night at the moment so I'm often up with her but I think she's going through a big 'leap' at the moment. Hopefully it's as the others say and a phase, I keep my fingers crossed for you that it passes soon, big sleepy hugs. Thanks for linking up #bestandworst x

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  14. We are going through exactly this with our 3 year old at the moment. He has a sticker chart but most days it has little to no effect! We have made a House Rules list because we were struggling with things like him leaving his dinner / running around the house not looking where he's going and running into the baby/dog etc. So I wrote it in front of him, telling him everything I was writing. I asked if there was any rules he wanted to make for Mummy and Daddy and he said no getting angry! So I put that one at the top (I wrote 'NO shouting' and explained that it's ok to feel angry but not to shout) to make him feel important but reminded him that the rules apply to him too - if he gets angry that's fine but he mustn't shout at us. We included night times in there with very specific steps of 1. First we tuck him back in. 2. If he shouts again we close his door to (he has a lamp on dimmed in his room but doesn't like the door shut) - we agreed that we'll close his door for only ten seconds. However we've not had to get to that yet as since we did this, shared the rules and reminded him before bedtime, nights have been better. Not perfect. But better. Only one shout. Sometimes none. We also had to include a rule about night time tantrums because he threw a huge tantrum the other morning at 2am because I wouldn't take his teddy out of bed and put it on the floor (?!) So we added that if he shouts after the second time we will be asleep (sounded better than saying 'we will ignore you!') and if this shouting becomes a tantrum, some of his toys will have to go in time out.
    I don't know if any of this has worked or not but it has been my last in a long line of trying things. Hope it helps! #bestandworst

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  15. Oh no, this is so hard. We get nights like that every now and then and they're horrible. I don't have much advice really, other than to say I hope it's a just a phase. It will pass though, so take advantage of and enjoy those nights that you do get a decent night's sleep because they're precious. #bestandworst

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  16. Hi, I'm afraid I have no advice. Just sympathy. Hang on in there. Xx

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