Last weekend I had some time child free doing things for me, Christmas shopping with my Mum & Nan on Saturday and then Sunday morning I did a local 5 mile race. Obviously before children I would have just gone off and done these things without thinking but with children you always need to plan. I have always found I don't have to ask Mr C before I organise these things, he just knows he will have the boys and that is the way it should be - We are in this together.
On Saturday I was having a stress about the fact that I have done nothing for Christmas when Mr C suggested I go out with my Mum & Nan and do some Christmas shopping. My first thought was 'but you'll have to have the boys' as there is no way I can take them shopping, but then I realised this is a ridiculous thought as he is their daddy and the parenting responsibility is on us both. When Mr C goes out, he just knows that if we have no plans already that he can go out and that is the same for me. If we have plans together then we will arrange babysitters but we both know that if one of us is out that the other is going to be with the boys.
And I know this subject has been big in the blogging world but I totally agree with the 'Dads don't babysit' as Mr C doesn't babysit, he looks after the boys when I am not around and when we are together we look after them together. We have a joint responsibility for them and a joint love of them, they are our children!
When I was out on Saturday not once did I worry about the time or worry about how long I had been out. I am going to be honest, in the past I have and I've thought 'I've been a few hours now so should be getting back' but that isn't because of something Mr C has said to me, it's just because I have stupidly felt that it should be me looking after the boys at the weekend as he works all week - which is rubbish.
So this weekend it hit me that I have been being silly and that I shouldn't be thinking like this and that in fact Mr C loves his time with the boys. I think their time just the three of them is so important and Mr C gets to make decisions on his own with them and he gets to do the sole parenting while I am out. As I do butt in when we are together and I do choose things for the boys without thinking.