Friday, 25 September 2015

Confidence


I want my sons to be confident, something I am not. Since having the boys my confidence level has increased but I'm very nervous talking to new people and doing things I don't normally do. I hate that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I'm out of my comfort zone, like a sickie nervous feeling of wanting to do something but far too scared to.

I want the boys to grow up knowing they can do anything and to have nothing holding them back. 

Yesterday Finley had his first martial arts class. A friend of mines son goes to a class and she said it has been great for him with confidence and discipline. Both of these are something I feel Finley would benefit from and when a leaflet dropped on our doormat I thought we would give it a try. 

We arrived and there were 5, including Finley in the class. The other 4 were dressed in their martial arts kit and I really hoped he didn't feel left out. We filled out the forms and then they called for the children to start. Finley was so excited.

They all stood in front of the instructor and were told what to do, Finley wasn't too sure what to do and just looked around and bit his lip. He was the youngest there and I think the other 4 children were school age. He kept looking over to me and tried to join in but wasn't sure what to do and very nervous, even though the instructor was trying to help him. He was pulling at his jogging bottom strings and pulling silly faces as to say 'I don't know what to do'. They were so good with him, they asked them to jump and Finley literally lifted his feet off the floor by a millimetre but the instructor high fived him. I wanted to hug the instructor for this as Finley was very closed and I could tell he was feeling nervous.

They then moved to do some things on  the mats, Finley followed but didn't join in again as was very unsure, this is where I thought he was going to cry, but he held it together and when he looked at me, I gave him the thumbs up. They were then asked to run around so he ran to me and asked for a wee. While in the toilet he said to me he wanted to wear what they were all wearing, so even at a young age he felt left out as he didn't have the uniform. This made me feel a little sad as I never want him to feel left out.

They then moved to have a little chat where they all had to sit down, legs and arms folded and listen. He did his very best with the odd wiggle and looking around to me. It was then onto the belt presentation. As Finley was new he didn't receive anything and looked at me a little disappointed, I wanted to run and give him a hug and give him a pretend award.

They then took him aside and worked with him alone on the basics. To start with he didn't want to do it and kept looking at me but after some thumbs up and big smiles from me he started to do it. And when he did he was pleased with himself and the instructor high fived him every time. The instructors praise was amazing and Finley squealed with joy every time he picked something up from what he was asked to do. 

At the end of the lesson he sat with all the other children and told the instructor he would be back. And as they all got up to go to their parents he told the instructor it was his birthday, which is next week. He had really warmed to the instructors and it was lovely to see how confident he was with them.

I am so proud!! Like unbelievably proud as I know how hard that lesson was for him, I know how he felt but he carried on. My little 3 year old grew his confidence in that one lesson. Watching him wriggle when asked to do something and he didn't know what to do was so hard to see and I wanted to run and hug him. But the fact I didn't would have made him more adamant to do it. 

I know next time he will join in some more and he will feel like he fits is with his white martial arts kit. They know it's his confidence and discipline I hope to improve so they will work with him on that.
When I got home and once the boys were in bed I told the hubby all about it, I ended up in tears just repeating how he was. It was so hard to see him struggle and not be by his side but I was there watching on and I got to witness something fantastic in a 3 year old.
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Mummy and Monkeys
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Stopping at two

23 comments:

  1. Thats amazing! Well done that man! I don't know many 3 year olds that would take direction, let alone make it through an entire martial arts class. I believe your dude it going to be a star! #PickNMix

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  2. Ive loved reading this - made me a bit tearful! #PicknMix

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  3. Marital arts are such a good way to build confidence :) I am the same as you, I wasn't confident as a child but it is one thing I want my children to be.

    #thisweekiveloved

    Gemma xxx

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  4. Aww well done! My confidence is pretty rubbish. Mia started rugby last week and she was so confident there was amazing watching her x

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  5. Confidence is an amazing trait to have and it is so wonderful seeing your kids being confident in something slightly detached from you? Really makes your heart swell! #PickNMix

    http://www.motherhoodtherealdeal.com

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  6. Oh that is so lovely! I really want to take A to a rugby tot class so he can increase in confidence, although he is confident around us and people he knows he can be really quite shy around strangers. Finley sounds quite similar to A, it's tough out in the big world for a toddler isn't it! Popping over from the #binkylinky X

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  7. Aw it's great when your children do something like that to make you proud. I've had a few moments like that lately. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  8. Brilliant post I have always told my children they can do anything it's believing that you can thanks for linking to the binkylinky

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  9. It's so hard having to watch them stand on their own two feet! Sounds like you go through it thoughx #justanotherlinky

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  10. What a great post. I felt rather proud for you, watching him, it just have been quite emotional for you, watching him develop and join in. We started martial art classes with my step son he loved it too. I love seeing a confident child. My son is definitely getting better. Thank you so much for linking up with #thisweekiveloved x

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  11. Brilliant post. It's the little things that help our kids confidence to grow and watching this is always fun. my daughter's had a boost in her own confidence since starting ballet and it's great to she her growth so i can relate to your post big time.

    Angela from www.daysinbed.com

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  12. I can feel for you when you said you don't want him to be left out... I'm the same! It's good that these type of activities would make them boost their confidence, my son is now 5 and I really would want him to start going/joining into these type of stuff... actually searching now for one which is just local. Thanks for sharing! #justanotherlinky

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  13. Sounds like he did brilliantly! I'm not very confident and was extremely shy as a child, but would like my kids to be confident Toddler is currently very outgoing & sociable, but the youngest is really shy around people, though very outgoing at home. Hard to tell yet if that is a developmental phase or her personality, though. #justanotherlinky

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  14. Brilliant post. Very moving - I can only imagine how tough it must have been to watch from the sidelines and not run up to squish your little one with a big mummy hug! Well done Finlay and well done mummy!! :0) xx

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  15. Oh well done little guy! I really hope my son will be able to join in with things properly like this soon - he is three and a half but not one of life's listeners to put it mildly. The few activities I have taken him to he has spent the session being silly because he doesn't know what to do or how to behave, the instructors haven't known how to deal with him at all. It sounds like these instructors really knew how to get the best out of your son. :)
    x Alice
    #justanotherlinky

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  16. It is so hard to keep standing back whilst our children struggle but as we do they learn about their own abilities and that they can cope and they grow in confidence. It a real balancing act because there are times that when we need to step in so they don't loose much confidence. It sounds like both of you did really well and I have to say at 3 he was amazing!! Kirsten

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  17. I can so relate to this. I'm really not confident at all and I want my child to have confidence. That's amazing that he wants to go back. I'm so nervous letting Evie do things on her own for the first time in group situations, but I try not to show it because I want her to enjoy things and be confident and independent around everyone. Even if we visit regular friends who have children she takes a good 15 minutes to come out of her shell. It sounds like the instructors are brilliant though and doing something like martial arts will really do wonders for his confidence! :-D You must be so proud xx #sundaystars

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  18. Awww this reminds me of taking my little one to rugby tots. I so desperately wanted him to join in and enjoy it but he was nervous at first too. But he did a whole term, loved it, got a certificate and lots of stickers and had a brilliant time. I am really keen for him to try martial arts as I love the discipline aspect of it and how it empowers them to feel confident and assert themselves. Thanks for reminding me to look into! And thanks for hosting #justanotherlinky again :)

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  19. I would never have k own you come across so confident! Wow how brilliant for your so , that instructor sounds fab. I always worry by son will be shy like I was as a child. Funnily enough he has just started karate in a bid to help his confidence. It's early days but fingers crossed! X

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  20. Awww well done little dude! I hope he finds his next lesson a little easier xx
    #sundaystars

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  21. I've always lacked confidence too and I suppose blogging helps a bit with that?! Well done to your son for doing great at his martial arts class. I use to do martial arts for years as a child and reached my Black belt 1st Dan, its not all about the 'rough and tumble' but more about discipline, respect, building confidence, travelling and of course making friends and being part of a team/club. This post really hit home and I loved reading it. I cannot wait to see his progress :) xx #binkylinky

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  22. I had loads of confidence as a kid apparently and it dwindled away in my teenage years. Then again as an adult with being betrayed in my marriage. I really want all my children to be confident and also confident in how they should be treated. He sounds like he did very well! Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

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