I want my sons to be confident, something I am not. Since having the boys my confidence level has increased but I'm very nervous talking to new people and doing things I don't normally do. I hate that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I'm out of my comfort zone, like a sickie nervous feeling of wanting to do something but far too scared to.
I want the boys to grow up knowing they can do anything and to have nothing holding them back.
Yesterday Finley had his first martial arts class. A friend of mines son goes to a class and she said it has been great for him with confidence and discipline. Both of these are something I feel Finley would benefit from and when a leaflet dropped on our doormat I thought we would give it a try.
We arrived and there were 5, including Finley in the class. The other 4 were dressed in their martial arts kit and I really hoped he didn't feel left out. We filled out the forms and then they called for the children to start. Finley was so excited.
They all stood in front of the instructor and were told what to do, Finley wasn't too sure what to do and just looked around and bit his lip. He was the youngest there and I think the other 4 children were school age. He kept looking over to me and tried to join in but wasn't sure what to do and very nervous, even though the instructor was trying to help him. He was pulling at his jogging bottom strings and pulling silly faces as to say 'I don't know what to do'. They were so good with him, they asked them to jump and Finley literally lifted his feet off the floor by a millimetre but the instructor high fived him. I wanted to hug the instructor for this as Finley was very closed and I could tell he was feeling nervous.
They then moved to do some things on the mats, Finley followed but didn't join in again as was very unsure, this is where I thought he was going to cry, but he held it together and when he looked at me, I gave him the thumbs up. They were then asked to run around so he ran to me and asked for a wee. While in the toilet he said to me he wanted to wear what they were all wearing, so even at a young age he felt left out as he didn't have the uniform. This made me feel a little sad as I never want him to feel left out.
They then moved to have a little chat where they all had to sit down, legs and arms folded and listen. He did his very best with the odd wiggle and looking around to me. It was then onto the belt presentation. As Finley was new he didn't receive anything and looked at me a little disappointed, I wanted to run and give him a hug and give him a pretend award.
They then took him aside and worked with him alone on the basics. To start with he didn't want to do it and kept looking at me but after some thumbs up and big smiles from me he started to do it. And when he did he was pleased with himself and the instructor high fived him every time. The instructors praise was amazing and Finley squealed with joy every time he picked something up from what he was asked to do.
At the end of the lesson he sat with all the other children and told the instructor he would be back. And as they all got up to go to their parents he told the instructor it was his birthday, which is next week. He had really warmed to the instructors and it was lovely to see how confident he was with them.
I am so proud!! Like unbelievably proud as I know how hard that lesson was for him, I know how he felt but he carried on. My little 3 year old grew his confidence in that one lesson. Watching him wriggle when asked to do something and he didn't know what to do was so hard to see and I wanted to run and hug him. But the fact I didn't would have made him more adamant to do it.
I know next time he will join in some more and he will feel like he fits is with his white martial arts kit. They know it's his confidence and discipline I hope to improve so they will work with him on that.
When I got home and once the boys were in bed I told the hubby all about it, I ended up in tears just repeating how he was. It was so hard to see him struggle and not be by his side but I was there watching on and I got to witness something fantastic in a 3 year old.