Now I know how incredibly lucky I was to be able to do this and it wouldn't have happened without my amazing Mum and her partner. Last weekend we went away for my husbands 30th Birthday to Amsterdam with some friends of ours and we had the most awesome time, but I did miss the boys an awful lot. But knowing how much fun they were having at home made it that little bit easier.
We headed off on Friday night to stay over at Luton as we had an early flight on Saturday morning. As we were leaving I had just put the boys to bed and Finley had got really upset, which in turn had upset me. I got into the car with tear running down my face as I felt awful for leaving and for having left with him in tears. But after a call from my Mum to say he had settled and gone to sleep, I started to tuck into the pick n mix and felt a whole lot better. They were in safe and loving hands.
We arrived in Amsterdam on Saturday and I felt like a child at Christmas, I was so excited for what we had planned and for what we were about to experience. We walked the streets without the worry of the boys letting go of our hands or seeing something they shouldn't. We sat down for some lunch on Saturday and planned the next few days, it was lovely to be enjoying a glass of wine with lunch and having an adult conversation.
I won't go into everything that we got up to as I want that to be something between my friends and family as it's something quite personal to us but I will say we did nearly everything you should do when you go to Amsterdam when you are trying to relive your youth lol! We had so much fun and so many laughs that I don't think I stopped smiling the whole weekend. It was great to be sharing it with some great friends and it was also lovely to have some time with Mr C, connecting again as a couple, as that is something that is very hard and can get lost when you have children.
I don't feel guilty saying this but I loved our time away from the boys as I think it was something we needed. I love my boys with all that I have and they are my whole world but I was beginning to feel like I was losing my way as me, and I was just Mummy. The trip let me be me, let me giggle at things I wouldn't when with children and let us have conversations that you can't have with children around.
We sat and ate our breakfast, lunch and dinner in peace with great conversation, we got to enjoy a glass of wine with our meals and go out in the evening, drink all we wanted and not worry about the hangover. We got to experience things we wouldn't have done with children in tow and we got to be us again and not just Mummy & Daddy.
Saying that, I was so glad to get home and give the boys the biggest hug in the world. When we walked through the door, Finley had just woken in a sleepy state so I ran up the stairs to see him. He can't remember it as he was half asleep but that feeling of seeing him and then going in a giving Noah a kiss was like the feeling when I first met them when they were born. My heart was full of love and I felt like I was back where I belong.
Yes it was amazing to be Kirsty for a few days, but it was even more amazing to come back and be called Mummy again. Also my husband and I have reconnected and are refreshed to start our next adventures as a family in our new house.