Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Making Time For Us

This post isn't about what you would think it would be about with a title like that. If I saw that title I would think it was about a couple, but this post isn't about Mr C and I, it is indeed about me and my eldest son Finley.


He will be off to school in September and however much I know he is ready and how excited he is, I still get a lump in my throat thinking about it. My first born is off to school and I'm excited with him but I am also so very sad. And as that day looms ever closer I have started to think about savoring time and making time for him. Now that is pretty hard when I'm a mum of two as I can't just hand Noah off to someone or put him in the corner while I concentrate on Finley. If anything Noah gets more of my attention and time as Finley is at preschool, and even when he's home Noah being the second child is a lot more demanding than Finley is. So I find myself trying to please Noah because the melt down that follows is just not worth the hassle sometimes and it would bring the whole day down.

But saying that I need to dedicate more of my time to Finley because come September our mornings together will be rushed, our late afternoon/evenings will be teatime & then bed which only leaves the weekend which makes me sad. And makes me question have I done enough, was I enough?

Every Friday Noah goes off to preschool and I get a day with Finley. I do try my best to do as many fun and Finley dedicated things as I can but it comes down to money. We don't have an endless supply of money and the money we do have we try to spend on family days out as a 4. But I do like to treat Finley as much as I can on a Friday and not fill those days with boring food shopping and jobs which is so much easier with a 4 year old than they are with a 2 year old or with both. 

I want to make the most of my time with Finley be it on his own or with Noah and I want to make this summer the best yet, but am I setting myself up for a fall? When we want something so amazing and with such high expectation are we inevitably ensuring it won't live up to it as daily life gets in the way and so does the British weather? 

I feel I need to get down on the floor and do more puzzles and play more games because soon he will be too tired, grumpy or just not want to because he did that at school. I need to make more time for Finley and I do my very best but housework keeps drawing me in and I need to give it the brush off as this saying is oh so true.

The ever looming reality of school runs, going to work, pick ups and homework is getting closer and I'm feeling the time slipping through my fingers. Non school days with my first born, that was that tiny precious bundle just nearly 5 years ago is slipping away and I feel like I'm grappling to stay afloat to make the most of the time we have before it's taken & replaced with weekends and school holidays. 
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39 comments:

  1. I get this completely... Its super important to try and get some 1 on 1 time with the kids. It so hard to try and please everyone that sometimes it all gets a bit lost, and with him starting school in September, thats everyday 6 hours a day without him, and whilst of course it does have to happen, it is hard. I used to feel so stressed having the 2 of them at home and then when the eldest went to school I felt completely sad and although a little less stressed I was lost lol.. this was a cute post #bestandworst

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  2. Its funny, reading your first line, because I didn't even consider it would be about a couple. I'm not sure if that says more about how much I've changed now, or if it means I need a little more alone time with the wife. #bestandworst

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  3. I may have said this already but I felt just like this this time last year. Plan lots of nice things over the summer before your life changes forever! #bestandworst

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  4. I may have said this already but I felt just like this this time last year. Plan lots of nice things over the summer before your life changes forever! #bestandworst

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  5. I feel much the same about my daughter who will be starting preschool every morning from September. I have actually started stepping down on my freelance work so I take an extra morning of in the week to be with her because you suddenly realise when a big change is coming that you never have that time again. I think it's great that you're recognising and acting on that lovely. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

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  6. Oh the feeling of 'not enough time'. It's a horrible one because we can't do anything about it. As a mama with a child who started school last year, I can totally sympathise with this, but also reassure you that starting school is NOT the end (even though you think it might be).

    When our baby was born, we were concerned that our older daughter was not getting as much attention and was struggling so we invented 'Jenny-Daddy' time. Which was a special 10mins each evening (while I got baby ready for bed) when Jenny could go downstairs with her Daddy and he would play whatever she wanted. That 10mins of complete attention meant the world to her. We're now 18mths later and my husband and I can now take it in turns so we each get special 1-on-1 time with her. It is such a special time for us.

    I'm sure you guys will work out your own system when you get there. #coolmumclub

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  7. This really resonates... If only I could shake the small one every now and again?! Ha just kidding, the guilt on quality time goes both ways with my kids. Just not enough of me to go around! Xx #coolmumclub

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  8. Oh, I feel exactly the same. My little girl starts school in September and I already miss her on her nursery afternoons. I desperately want to spend more time with her before she goes to school.
    Nat.x

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  9. I am not looking forward to when the time comes to send my baby to nursery and school xx
    #picknmix

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  10. I think it is so lovely to make sure you have one to one time with the little ones, even when you're super busy It's hard when you know you've got a million things to do but being with them just one on one is lovely and puts everything in perspective. Gorgeous pictures xx #justanotherlinky

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  11. It is important spending time with schoolers, however it can be a struggle fitting it in. My little man starts fulltime in September and I will miss the time we spend together while my eldest is at school. #justanotherlinkiie

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  12. I just can't contemplate them growing up, it happens too fast! I have a couple of years before my eldest starts school but I know how quickly it will go, it's scary! #justanotherlinky

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  13. I'm dreading this day. I think it's harder on the parents than the kids. It's just such an end of an important era. It's do nice that your making time with him before the big day #justanotherlinky

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  14. I'm dreading this day. I think it's harder on the parents than the kids. It's just such an end of an important era. It's do nice that your making time with him before the big day #justanotherlinky

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  15. One on one time is lovely when you can manage it but life does tend to get in the way! It doesn't need to be anything expensive especially at that age, the thing they really want and will remember, is time spent with you. Whether its a little walk ( maybe after the youngest is in bed, my eldest loves this!) or a cupcake while you have a coffee when the youngest is at nursery. We actually 'pencil in' time with each one so we make it happen! #justanotherlinky

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  16. I totally get this - it was a huge shift when E arrived after having only my stepson for so long..but if anything it makes time spent just the two of us even more special. I do find that we have to plan it though and it's less spontaneous than before! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  17. I loved my children starting school although agree it is a huge milestone. Although I disagree enormously with them closing my school to use asome a polling station the suprise day off is a lovely chance to do something fun & entirely child related. #justanotherlinky lifeinthemumslane

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  18. I loved my children starting school although agree it is a huge milestone. Although I disagree enormously with them closing my school to use asome a polling station the suprise day off is a lovely chance to do something fun & entirely child related. #justanotherlinky lifeinthemumslane

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  19. Another lovely reminder that every day is precious when they are at home with you before the school days start!

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  20. Its definitely not an easy task trying to juggle one on one time when you have two or more children. I honestly don't know how Mum's of more than two do it!! I treasure the one on one time I get with my eldest. I'm sure that Finley loves his Fridays with you and appreciates whatever you end up doing- even if it is a trip to the supermarket!! Thanks for hosting lovely #justanotherlinky xx

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  21. I felt like this when my youngest started pre school in April. She's never been away from me before so it was a big adjustment for us x #justanotherlinky

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  22. Another case of the super mum guilt to look forward too!! lol
    Great post. I know how you feel. I felt the same when Holly went to nursery!
    Lx
    Http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #justanotherlinky

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  23. I get this 😞 My eldest doesn't start until next September but I'm already hoping I can get some days just me and her over the course of the next year, as she's been royally shoved to one side now that her baby sister is here. It's tricky when their needs are so different but just as valid. I hope you have a fab summer with both of your boys xx #justanotherlinky

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  24. It's so hard my eldest is about to go into year 2 and middle starting reception in september. We have Monday's together and try to make the most of it #justanotherlinky

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  25. Oh lovely it must be so hard, they grow up so quickly don't they? If I were you I would choose to spend as much of the day (Friday) with your son, I know that's your day of doing chores etc, but could you dedicate say an hour to chores and then the rest of the day is you and him time. Are there any free activities near you - parks, museums, galleries etc..some have good children's areas. When I read the title of your post I thought it was you and Mr time, we definitely need that in our lives. My little one, (she's 11 months) is off to nursery in less than 2 weeks time, and like you I feel that our days are numbered and we need to be making the most of our time together this week. Thanks so much for joining us at #fortheloveofBLOG this week. Claire x

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  26. I completely get this, my eldest is 15 now! Don't worry too much, once they are at school you have more time to get the rubbish, boring stuff done so that the weekend becomes all about family time. You make the most of the time you have :) #JustAnotherLinky

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  27. Isn't Finley lucky to have such a lovely mummy as you, wanting to keep that quality time. Yes, once they start school it is a game changer, but it is also really wonderful watching them embrace the next stage. Keep enjoying the now and don't worry about September. Alison #justanotherlinky

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  28. It's so important one on one time with our children beautiful post thanks for linking to the #binkylinky

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  29. You are right it is hard to find quality time once they start school but you will still have special moments together. Its a new and exciting (is a little scary) chapter. I hope he loves school! 🌸

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  30. It will be a big change, but I do think it will make the time you do spend together all the more special once he's at school
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK :)
    Debbie

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  31. Our twins start full time school in September and I'm just not ready for it. I really understand where you're coming from. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  32. I do remember this feeling well and now, we're nearing the end of year 1 !! My goodness me! I do so wish i had a magic wand to wave at you over the virtual blogosphere to give you more time with your boy, but I guess that's a part of it. Enjoy your time together :) Thanks for hosting #justanotherlinky

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  33. I've been feeling a bit like this, I work in the evenings normally but Im currently on mat leave. Dexter doesn't start school until next year but already I'm thinking our mornings will be rushed, he'll be tired when he gets in and then i'll bee off to work. I wont see him! I don't like it at all and really feel like i need to quit work because my children are more important.

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  34. It goes way too quickly, I do miss not having my boys at home and where possible I do try and have one on one time with each of them. Your boys are very lucky to have a fantastic mum lovely. Thank you for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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  35. This is really hard, I have a big age gap between my first and second children, eldest is 10 and youngest is nearly 3 and it is so difficult getting that one to one time with the eldest. And of course transitioning to primary school is hard, but he will soon have tons of friends and you will find that while you are sad, he will be just fine. #justanotherlinky

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  36. Totally understand you here. It is really hard. It's always tough to get time with one child when you have more than one isn't it.
    #MarvMondays

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  37. It's so hard and changes are always worse before they happen. I find it hard to juggle it all. Finlay started School in September and he absolutely loves it. Thanks for linking to #PicknMix

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  38. Oh lovely, I can imagine feeling just like this in about a years time when our little one is starting school. Time just seems to fly so quickly and it feels like there is always so much to do. I'm sure Finley will just love spending time with you doing normal every day stuff as much as he would really fun, special stuff. A sprinkle of it here and there will be more than enough. At the end of it all he probably wont remember what you did but how much time you spent together.. Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

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  39. I can remember this feeling well when both of mine went to school. It is such a big change for all concerned. I still remember the special days we had leading up to school. Take lots of pics, if you are anything like me they will bring back the magical ties before school, timetable and living for the weekends.

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