Toddlers have trantrums. We all know this. They can be the little shouty 'I want that I want that I want that' tantrums or they can be the big full blown thrown themselves on the floor tantrums. And in the year of the threenager we are having a lot of these whether it be the small or big ones. They aren't fun but they are all part and parcel of bringing up children and I am sure that I will look back when they are teenagers and think these were nothing and then when they are in their 20's and laugh about it. But there is not getting away from the fact that they are embarrassing and however I handle them people will look, whisper under their breath, talk about it to other shoppers or the worst of the lot give me their advise and put their input in. And when I are in the midst of my threenager having a full blown tantrum, input and stares is not what I need or want!
The other day I was in Asda with both boys, my friend, my sister in law and their children. As always one of the first things we got to in the store were the toys. And this day it was garden toys. They had a great offer on and because the weather had been so great and the boys had been in the garden most days I said I would buy them some garden toys. Not long after the toys had been put in the trolley Finley started to play up. He was grabbing things off of shelves, teasing Noah and generally being a three year old that hates food shopping. And I know its not the most exciting of things for them to do but its something we all have to endure lol. I kept saying stop that or come here or stop running off and using the threat of if you do that again I will put the toys back. Which got the response of a little 'no no no' shout. Then by what felt like the millionth time of me saying I would put the toy back if he didn't start behaving, I put the toy back. And that is when the almighty tantrum started. He screamed, he stood in front of the trolley, he shouted some more, he cried and everyone looked at me. I just looked straight forward and tried, slowly with a toddler hanging on he trolley, to get what was left on my list. I could see people look and whisper and I just thought whatever. Then down one aisle a lady turned round to my sister in law, not knowing we were together, and said 'aw I feel sorry for him'. I didn't find this out until we had left the store but that comment hurt. All I had done was as a Mother had told him off and put a toy back. The comment hurt as I do the best for my children but he has to start learning that I don't divvy out threats that I don't go through with. We finally got to the checkout, Finley still screaming the place down and me finding it hard not to cry but with my friends hand on my shoulder and her reassuring me I was doing the right thing I pushed away the tears. As we were leaving the store a lady started to walk along side us and said 'aw, is he always like this?' REALLY???? Is he always like this!! My response was a very calm 'no, hes a toddler' as honestly I could have screamed at her!
That was then and today is today and I know there will be more tantrums to come but I really do not like input from others as it really is not needed. And I really don't need people making me feel bad as I am doing my best and doing what I think is best for my children.
My beautiful boy when he's not tantruming
Oh bless you. You did AWESOME to hold your tongue and stay cool. Credit to you and you did the right thing. The little man will learn he can't behave like that and still get what he wants. xxxReplyDelete
Will just add #bestandworst to this! Thanks so much for the support with the linky and hope to see you next week xxxDelete
You did amazing, I'd have been out of there as quickly as possible and probably given the commenter a piece of my mind on the way out haha. You totally did the right thing! xx #bestandworstReplyDelete
Well done for holding your tongue. I don't know if I would have been able to. The plus side, if you can call it that, is that we've all been there, and been there a lot, to know exactly what it's like and would have done exactly the same. My mum use to say to me that toddlers are like sponges - I always thought that she meant that they pick up and as orb everything around them. But when I questioned it once she corrected me and said "no, they can absorb a lot of what you say and of the same thing over and over but ultimately they can only hold a certain amount until you can wrap your hands around it and squeeze it out and start again" I hold on to these words dearly....because in these situations it's pretty much like I'm saying the same thing with no real outcome. #bestandworstReplyDelete
Oh I completely get you. I will rarely go anywhere with my little boy without the reinforcement of hubby as the toddler tantrums are so hard to deal with, although he's not always that bad.I remember when he was under a year we were at the checkouts and he was crying and this horrible old lady looked over and told me to try and keep that child quiet. Well my husband pretty much had to restrain me! I think you did great!!ReplyDelete
Thanks so much for linking up the first best and worst linky, hope to see you next week!
Helen - #bestandworst
Well done on keeping cool,it is one of the hardest things to do in that situation I'm not sure I would of kept my cool though to be honest sometimes you want the floor to swallow you up great postReplyDelete
Oh that is horrible, people can be so mean! They have seen a 30 second glimpse of your life and think they have the right to judge or pass comment? You totally did the right thing! The easy thing would have been to give in and let him have the toy or something else that stopped the tantrum, but what does that teach him, kick up enough fuss and I get what I want? Grr makes me cross when people are judgemental without knowing the full story. When I ever see a mum with a toddler having a tantrum my heart doesn't go out to the toddler, it goes out to the mum is no doubt embarrassed and stressed but doing her best! xx #bestandworstReplyDelete
Well done you on sticking to your guns! Those public tantrums really are the worst, believe me I've had my fair share of them, but they will dwindle off soon I promise. Just ignore any bad comments, most people with older children forget just how awful in can be to deal with. Thanks for linking up with #SundayStars xxxReplyDelete