Monday 13 April 2015

The Mum I thought I would be and the Mum I am

I am sure everyone is the same, before we all had children we knew the type of parent we were going to be. And we also judged parents whether it was friends with children or when we were out and about. I know I did. Without even meaning to. Before the subject of children had even come up I thought I knew what kind of Mum I wanted to be and I can tell you know I am no where near that Mum. But I'm not ashamed as before I didn't have a clue! I didn't have nieces or nephews so had no idea what being a parent was like. But I did look at parents when they had a screaming child in the supermarket and think do something to make them happy and stop shouting! Oh how easy that was to say lol.
So before I had the boys this was the parent I wanted and thought I would be:

  • I wouldn't let them eat sweets and chocolate.
  • They would sleep in their Moses basket/cot every night and not sleep with us.
  • We would blissfully sit around cuddling and playing all day.
  • I would make homemade meals every night.
  • I wouldn't shout.
  • They would be so well behaved when we went out shopping.
  • I would go shopping all the time with the kids in tow.
  • I would have loads of blissful lunches and coffees out.
  • I wouldn't let them run around a shop/supermarket.
  • They wouldn't scream and shout while out.
  • They would sleep 7pm - 8am every night.
  • We would all sit around the dining table every night.
  • I wouldn't be so ridged with a routine.
  • We would sit on the sofa watching lots of Disney films, drinking hot chocolate and   eating popcorn.
  • I would get up every morning and for all the night feeds so my husband could sleep.
  • I wouldn't get angry with them.
  • I wouldn't let them have anything they wanted.
  • If I made a threat I would stick to it.
  • On a girls night out I wouldn't talk about my children most of the night.
Well little did I know that the parent I am would be no where near the parent I thought I would be. I wish I had more patients but I don't. I wish I wasn't so up tight about things but I am. So here is the parent that I am. Please don't judge:
  • If I need a second of peace and quiet they will get sweets and chocolate.
  • Both boys have spent many a nights in our bed. Finley to the point my husband slept in the spare room for a few months (crazy I know!!).
  • We play all day but I wouldn't say blissfully and cuddles normally involve a finger in my ear or eye. Still lovely cuddles though.
  • They tend to eat turkey dinosaurs & waffles, fish fingers & waffles, pasta with tomato sauce cheese and pepperami (Finley's fav!) chicken nuggets & waffles (your starting to get the waffles picture) and the occasion McDonald's.
  • I do shout. I don't like to and always feel guilty after but they know how to push my buttons and I end up raising my voice.
  • They are not the angel children when out shopping, they shout and scream and just generally act like loons in public.
  • I never take them clothes shopping and if I do its for a specific reason and we are in and out in a matter of minutes.
  • We do have lunches and coffees out but they are not blissful and are in Costa or cafes not restaurants. We would get kicked out.
  • They run around the supermarket and shop sometimes as I am so fed up of telling them off I let them. And the looks I get are awesome - not!!
  • We have lots of screaming and shouting while out, mostly happy shouting but its still shouting isn't it!
  • Finley has only just started to sleep through the night and he is 3 1/2!!!!
  • We sit at the dining table all together probably 2 nights out of the 7 just because my husband works late and they cant wait until 8 to eat their tea!
  • I am so ridged to a routine, it even annoys even me. I cant help it and I feel very on edge when we are out of the routine.
  • Yes we watch films, drink hot chocolate and eat popcorn but its not the heavenly scene I thought it would be. There is popcorn all over the place and the hot chocolate is hardly drank.
  • Me and my husband share getting up.
  • I get angry. No more explanation needed - they are toddlers!
  • They aren't spoilt and don't get everything they want but if we are out and the would like a toy that's not to expensive I normally cave to keep them quiet.
  • I never stick to threats. I am far too soft.
  • Sorry to all my friends as when we go out all I talk about is the boys. I spend every working hour with them so they are all I have to talk about. I'm not moaning as I could talk about them all day but I think my friends get a bit fed up.
I know I am not the perfect mother and I do let them get away with a lot. And I know people look at me when we are out sometimes and think get a hold of your children (thankfully not a lot of the time) but its very easy to judge someone or something before you have it in your life. And very easy to think you know how you will be before your life is turned upside, your sleep deprived and you have this little person that you love so much and would travel the world for them to get them what they wanted.

I don't think I'm doing to bad even if I'm not the parent I thought I would be.

Yep I let them eat chocolate for breakfast ;-)
Mums' Days
And then the fun began...


  1. Brilliant! I always said if she won't eat her dinner, no other choices. I caved on that today! Sometimes I want life to be easy!!! xx

  2. Brilliant post! :-) I am so the same, you're not alone honey xxx

  3. It's not until you're actually living it that you realise how very impossible it is to live up to your own expectations! We're all doing just fine though x

  4. Sometimes our aspirations just are not practical, no matter how well meaning. Your family looks so happy, that is all that matters!

  5. what an honest post! you sound like a 'real' mummy to me not one of these fictional perfect ones you only see in fairy tales lol #twinklytuesdays x

  6. Ah welcome to my world!!! The second list is exactly the way things go in thos house....except mine won't touch the turkey dnosaurs (though I've tried and tried to push it). We all do whatever it takes to get through the day. And hot chocolate...pah! It's wine you need. Lush kids you have there!

    1. Oh the wine comes out after bedtime - sometimes before at weekends :-) anything to keep the kidneys happy xx

  7. ha hilarious! im sure many people feel exactly the same as you :D

  8. Oh yeah! My latest is the kids won't use the iPad for longer than 10 minutes a day ... yeah right! Good post #twinklytuesdays

  9. Brill post, I thought I was going to be all of the same things too but reality is much different x

  10. Aaah treasure — I'm so with you!! Weirdly, I'm not the mama I thought I would be... surprisingly I'm a LOT better at it!! ;)

    But I DO shout, I do give in to demands for 'more nack, more nack!' (snacks!) and I do get cross when they prefer to go to Daddy (when I've been with them ALL day — where's the gratitude?). I will live and die by the routine too!! To be honest, I think babies thrive off a strict schedule. My boys are two now and we're STILL in a pretty rigid routine. It's made life a LOT easier for me, that's for sure! Stick with it pet — you'll be doing an amazing job! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Caro |

  11. I said he wouldn't watch TV - pah! What a fool! I also don't like cereal (so much sugar) but he's sat opposite me eating a huge bowl of coco pops so I can finish off some commenting ;) Thanks for linking up to #TheList you lovely mum!! xxx

  12. I love this post!! I am the same, had such idealistic views of the mummy I would be until I actually became one and that just pretty much went out the window for a happy child and easy life :)

  13. Ha ha a little bit of chocolate for breakfast does everyone some good ;) I reckon we're all quite far from the 'perfect parent' we thought we might be. I know that I am!

  14. I'm the same - I cave in far too easily - anything for a quiet life (as if!). I think that is probably the worst thing I do but it makes them happy (like letting the dummy thing go on far beyond 18 months!). I don't think I thought of what kind of parent I'd be before hand but yes, everyone would like to get it all right and do all the right things by the book but life just isn't like that is it? Thanks so much for sharing with #thetruthabout Xx

  15. I don't even want to start on a list like this about myself! Who knows what would make it on there...

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