Saturday, 14 March 2015

Am I getting it right?

Like every mum I want to do everything right for my sons. I want them to grow up knowing how much they were loved and to look back on their childhood and smile. And for them to come to my husband and I when they are adults and talk fondly of their childhood.
I think sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to 'do it right'. What is right? I don't think there is a singular right way, it's the right way for you and your family.
We didn't start reading bedtime stories until Finley was about 2 years old - just because he didn't have the attention span to listen to a story and would get bored. So we would sit with him while he had his milk and then do kisses and cuddles goodnight. When taking to other mummy's with children the same age they would tell me which books were their childrens favourites and how many books they read them a night and the how their children loved bedtime story time.
I used to worry constantly about maybe Finley was missing out. Should we be reading him a bedtime story? Would it slow his development down? Would he look back and think I never got a bedtime story when I was 2? And I would stew on all these questions and beat myself up and wonder was I doing it right. But in fact, bedtime stories didn't come to our house until Finley was about 2 1/2, when he was really interested in books and after Christmas 2013 when I did an advent calendar of books for him. And this was right for us.
Bedtime story time
I now look back and think how stupid of me to worry about not reading him a story as he didn't want one and in my eyes he wasn't ready.
I spend most of my parenting life worrying. Whether I'm feeding them right, whether they watch too much tv, do we go to soft play enough, do we go out enough? The list is endless.
With Finley I read a lot of parenting books and google. I put so much pressure on myself to do what the books or google said as I thought this was the 'right' way. But with Noah I learnt to go with my gut and to follow what I thought was right and I am so much more of a relaxed parent because of this.
I used to worry about when Finley would nap. In the books it says they should have 2 naps of 1 1/2 hours each at a year old. So I would spend half my morning sat trying to get Finley to sleep and after an hour of trying he would go, same in the afternoon. All this because I thought the book was right. Then with Noah because I didn't have the time to sit and get him to sleep he slept when he wanted, he still does, and you know what he sleeps through the night and sleeps so well.
Noah falls asleep when he wants, lol
But we live and learn and I have learnt to listen to my instincts and really I am the best book of knowledge for myself. And I truly wish I didnt worry so much and worry what other people think but that is me.
I want to get it right for my boys. And I hope I look back in 20 years time and think I did it right and it was what was right for us.
The Dad Network
Running in Lavender


  1. I'm like this! I worry about everything. I didn't read the twins a bedtime story until about 2 either. We read a lot during the day but it never seemed to work, and we were always so busy! However now it's a crucial part of the routine at night and they look forward to a few stories. I don't think we're alone, I bet everyone feels the same about this! Jess x

  2. You are doing it perfectly for your kids :) As long as you show them your love, feed them and protect them you are doing things right, everyone does things differently because all kids are different. Only you can know how they need you to be.

    So stop worrying, you are doing great :)

  3. I did this too! I felt like I was getting everything wrong but S seems to have turned out ok ;) We have only just started doing proper bedtime stories too and Sam is coming up to 2 and a half. Looks like you're doing fab to me :) xx

  4. I'm exactly the same. I question it all of the time. Sounds like you're doing everything perfectly though. Every Child is different and that makes parenting so difficult. But as Ashley says you can only be you and love and protect them. Thanks fro linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky

  5. Oh gosh - don't worry about it. Parenting is a journey, no right or wrong paths . I have 4 and I make it up as I go along! #bigfatlinky

  6. I think all parents go through the same thing. I worry about everything with my 2 boys and there is no need for half of it.

  7. We didn't start bedtime stories until G was about 2 either, we had stories in the day but bedtime was sleep time. She has not suffered for it at all- and this is me as a teacher lol. Instincts are always right x

  8. Oh man I could have written this a few months back, but then we had to go through the massive upheaval of relocating back to the UK and all the challenges it brought with it and it totally made me relax because everything was so unknown! With every month, we learn to relax a little more and trust we are doing the best we can, without driving ourselves nuts! #bigfatlinky

  9. It sounds like you are doing a great job to me. It's so stressful being a Mum and we put so much pressure on ourselves. My two love books, but both started enjoying them at different ages xx

  10. with everything parents should always do whats right for them and their family i read to my children from such a young age because i enjoyed it and they did show an interest in books it was what was right for us but then i am bound to of don't things others won't agree with ect there is so much pressure on parents nowadays but not everything suits everyone - your doing a great job! x



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